I stopped talking a long time ago.Surprisingly people so try to change you for what you actually are.They won’t ever stop at anything.They want to see you the way they like to picture you.For instance,my mother wants to see me in pretty clothes,a great hair-do and makeover and stuff that all girls dream of all the time and put a lot of efforts into doing.Why is it so-I sometimes asked her and you know what she told me every time-that I want my children to look super all the time.I like to see you dress up.
When all I see is the wish that someday some guy would maybe love the looks of me and the great manners that she has taught me and ask for my hand in marriage and she’d marry me off with him(hah!that would remove some burden off her shoulders!).But would she stop for a second and ask me what I want?No!because I don’t think straight,do I?
So,this plan entirely goes down the drain because I’m not looking forward to marrying someone who doesn’t love me for me.I don’t want to give myself to someone who doesn’t knows the real me and claims to love the fake me-I WON’T!
And then there’s other people that come to know about my excellent mind-or so they say it.You are creative or at least try to be and people start thinking you can do anything-literally ANYTHING!!!
I couldn’t tell them that I wasn’t almighty but there was an almighty-so you can go to Him and ask for all the wonders you expect me to do for you!
In short,people-including my family,won’t give me a break so I decided that I didn’t want to take it anymore.
I had read somewhere:Silence is your best weapon!
And I don’t speak anymore.I don’t argue like I used to,no moot discussions any more.And let me tell you,I’m so happy since then.People did try to make me talk but I wouldn’t budge,Didn’t have it in me anymore.And then there came a time when I even forgot how my voice sounded.
Those who remember my voice say it was sweet as honey and melodious.But if embracing the silence means I get to shape myself as I wanted to be,’m glad I did what I did!
Finally I can paint my own image of what I want myself to look like.Finally I can fill my picture with the colours of my OWN choice!