Diary Entry 122


Dear Diary,
I’m visiting my aunt’s place again. Seems like most of the time of this semester,I will be spending with her naughty,chatterbox kids. But I have come to love them so dearly. And we kinda,have grown closer. Even their little cousins look up to me and talk so animatedly with me. Yeah,the number of people who have started to take me as their role model is increasing day by day,even after me telling people not to do so. God save the Queen! I mean,taking me as a role model is kinda asking for trouble. I’m not that good a person. Ask people who have come to hate me or feel threatened by me. Yes,such people exist and they are increasing in number day by day. And whats even a bigger shocker is that they don’t even actually know me. Isn’t it great?! 😀 :/ Well,not really. I mean,I have awakened feelings of hatred or insecurity in people I don’t even know. And that too without trying.
So much has happened in these 3 past months. I met some very nice people and some tough loves 😉 I went for an unofficial kinda internship in CMH Sialkot and enjoyed every single moment of it. My Supervisor,a Psychologist and Captain by post, I have come to love her for her beautiful and helping personality. Working in the field,I actually came to care more for my patients than I thought possible. But being objective is so very much important. We, as professionals can’t become crutches for our patients. The occasional shoulder to cry on(metaphorically speaking),is okay. But the concentration MUST be on making them capable to stand on their own feet again. Yeah,well,that’s the tough part. Most patients have chances of becoming dependent on their therapists. We’ll,I’m sure I will learn to avoid that from happening.
I taught Tajweed to almost 25 people at home and had an excellent result alhamdulillah. My chest swells with pride when I listen to them read Qur’an so beautifully. I learned 2 Surahs(i-e Chapters) of Qur’an and half portion of another one. Yup,I’m so happy about it ^_^
Well,since I came back,so much has happened. From crappy moods over the worst timetable ever to discovering that I’m page admin for a womanizer in making…..you name it! But since I stopped caring, I have been a lot more happier with my life. And I have been demoted to editor status from manager of IIUI Memes. But that’s more than okay with me.
Sometimes, I feel like I should’ve been a breakup therapist. I dunno how,but people seem to cross paths with me,more often than not,while trying to deal with their post-breakup downs. And guess what,I’m always happy to help.
A girl from occupied Kashmir,contacted me after reading my blog posts. Its nice to sometimes see my readers ACTUALLY trying to talk to me back. Its so refreshing and I always look forward to it 😀
Oh,and before I go,I would like to get one a little bit more off my chest.
“A liar always sees liars in every person he sees or meets. While a positive person always sees positivity around him. What you chose to become is what you see in others.”
Anyway,I must go now.
Its so awesome to be able to write once again.
*sigh*
I always miss the feel!

Gutentag for now 😉

Things I want to do before I die


I have always been a mouthy person when I am comfortable in my surroundings. But today I want to use pictures instead of too many words. So here I go…….
1. Learn Archery
index(Currently looking for a place where I can get trained,within the twin cities.If anyone knows,do let me know,pretty please!!!)

2. Get better at writing

index

3. Learn Knitting and Crochet

images4. Getting Horse-riding lessons

sfe5. Learn Sword fighting

asfsdfNope,I’m not trying to become a Vigilante 😉

6. Learn how to Swim

xd7. Learn different Languages

ef8. Learn driving

sadf9. Learn Tajweed and Memorize Qur’an

index

10. Be The Woman in White instead of Red when I Marry

photo.php11. Make Friends without Hurting them in the long run,just for a change

1451570_461793333951702_7745215552536848744_n12. Join Forces

imagesCan’t wait for my passion to come true!

Diary entry 102


Dear diary,
I have been very bad in past two years. I’m not the same person as I was in my 1st semester in uni. But My class fellows and friends still think me to be that good girl I used to be. Yes, they think me to be something I’m not. What made me realize this,are you wondering? (off course you can’t wonder.You are a diary! But lets just say you are :p )
Well,I didn’t tell you, both my competitions went well alhamdulillah!
In Tajweed competition,I did I mistake and to cover it,I had to recite the ayah again which meant I exceeded 13 seconds from the time allowed (4 mins). And when I came back I was a bit dejected. Last year I was the one and only winner. This year I was an embarrassment for myself!
Anyway,the day ended well. Went to Ayubia with my family and my aunt’s family. Tried to practice my nasheed on our way. Because the 1st competition, I wasn’t sure I could win, so I had to do something in the 2nd one.
The day of competition came and again I did a mistake while singing the nasheed I had chosen. I covered it well but something inside me said “Good going Girl!Lets go home, sit in a dark room and celebrate your defeat.”
But a teammate asked me to stop till the end of the whole Islamic Conference. I did. And I dunno if it was my luck or if it was fate that stopped me there that day. A big thanks to that teammate of mine. Staying there I got to witness some of the most beautiful happenings.
A brother in Islam(Br John Fontain) came from UK to give a speech,”A heart that changed its beat!”
I witnessed,him giving Maghreb Adhan,with hundreds of other people watching and some recording that precious moment. At that moment all I could think was, How lucky this man is.So many people have witnessed him,proclaiming that Allah is one and supreme.We’ll all be his witnesses on the day of Judgement.
And then I looked inward.What do I have to take with me? I was a chosen one too.And what did I do?Where did my knowledge go?What did I do with my life?
Yes,I was in tears at that very moment. Deciding that somewhere along the way,I had stopped being good,but it was about time that I went back to being a good Muslim.

And then the time for closing ceremony and prize distribution came. In that moment I wished so much to have gone earlier when I had the chance to go with my parents back to my hostel. My heart started pounding hard in my chest. As the moderator started announcing the winners in each category of competition,my team mates started going down to the stage to get their certificates.I kept congratulating them on their positions,and praying on the same time that,my performance wasn’t good enough but my little sister’s was great.So let her win,let her win,let her win. . . . . .
And then Positions for Brothers’ Tajweed.First good news that made me hopeful,unlike last year,this year there were 3 positions. At least one was my little sister’s. . . . . .
Well,Sisters’ Tajweed positions. 3rd position goes to,dunno what her name or team name was. . . . .2nd position goes to. . . .again I’m blank and my heart just drowned. . . . .
1st position goes to. . . . .Team Youth Club. . . .(wait,Whaaaa???!!!)Okay,I’m not gonna mention my name here.But it was me. Yup my mouth fell open and Alhamdulillah was the only word I could utter.A quick run to get my certificate.
Then there were brothers’ nasheed winners and sisters’ nasheed winners.
Yup,I had to make another trip down there as my it was my little sister who had won the 3rd position in nasheed.And yet another trip to get my 1st position certificate in nasheed.Again with an open mouth.
Nope I wasn’t expecting it at all(This is an understatement.You have no idea.I’m still surprised as I write in here.But lemme assure you,the certificates are quite real!)
I came back to my team’s allotted seats and the yet bigger moment arrived.
Who’s going to win the tournament overall?
We were expecting a 2nd or 3rd position there.My teammates I mean.But it was a day for miracles,so I asked Allah for one more. Yup,we all jumped out of our seats(including our Youth Club manager Raja Zia Ul Haq )when our team stood 1st in 2nd tournament in a row,alhamdulillah!
We took home SIST 2013 trophy and this time we claimed SIST 2014 trophy too.
Hah,back to where I started.This is what made me realize. . . . .
My lousy performance in both my competitions and yet Allah saves my ass twice.My bad behaviour for past 2 years and still Allah wants me to be the one on top of things that I can do.
O Allah,this is a sign enough.I’ll try to be the best I can be.But I’ll always be needing your help Oh Allah!
Take the best work of deen from me,please.
Aameen!
More later if life permits,In Sha Allah!