Where the flowers bloom


“You have to stand for the right thing,even if it means that you have to stand alone.”
The words still ring in my ears, the words of my “Introduction to law” teacher. I thought I knew what it meant. I thought I understood. But I couldn’t be more wrong. But today I know for sure how it happens. You keep your mouth shut and everyone likes you, the moment you object to something, you become the bad person. And YES, you stand alone,literally!
“Laugh and the world laughs with you.Cry and you cry alone!”
I couldn’t be more blessed than I feel right now. Every thing happening around me is giving me hints, what should I do, how should I deal with my current predicament. What should be my plan of action. I feel somewhat free, from the clutches of self-doubt and fear of rejection,my fear of losing people I love. It smells like salvation, like spring, like a chance to actually leave my stagnation behind and grow, a chance to spread my wings and fly away, a chance at happiness!

Coming back from market today just gave me this comforting idea. Roads are under construction near my university and most of the area has been dug out. But there,amidst the construction equipment and little places where there is still some part of mud visible, I could see flowers, in their full bloom. The flowers that grew on their own,without someone actually having to plant them. This got me thinking, if this isn’t a  sign, which miracle are you waiting for?
Now I know, why I am tried and tested every day, scratched and left to bleed every once a week. It has a higher purpose. I’m tested at every turn to prepare for the biggest and the most beautiful blooming, for the best spring the naked eye can witness. Oh sure, things get so hard once in a while, but if the end is good, who cares what happened on the way. After all,Earth doesn’t produce the best of its fruits without being prodded and poked. I get it now.
I wanted to go some place where the flowers bloom, where there is no gloom. What I failed to realize was that I was that place I was dreaming about. I was that place where I wanted to go. ME! The only miracle present here is my own self.
And you know what, I’m happy that I realized this finally!!!

Abused. . . . .


Behind those fake smiles,
There’s a heart that cries
Filled with sorrow and pains
Of an assaulted body and soul
And I can see you standing
Right there,in front of me
Laughing above my broken body
Again today,I got punished
For a crime I didn’t commit
In fact I fail to fathom this
Why do I let you torture?
Silently getting whipped
What did I ever do to you?
I’m harmless and unequipped
A weak body,your submissive
And yet,you hold that lash
Bleed me,until you’re tired
Then at night,you come close
I’m afraid,what you might do
But you are a changed man
Hugging me close and warm
You comfort me so much
As if nothing has happened
A happy tear escapes my eyes
I’m afraid to let go just yet
Afraid,morning would unleash
The beast inside of you
I don’t have to wait long
It’s again me,under your lash
Beaten,crying,tormented
The vicious cycle just never ends
Tears of pain and anguish
Escaping eyes of a broken,violated me

My Life Without You


What’s my life without you,my love?
I wonder as I lie here,gazing stars
Nothing catches my interest anymore
Days are void of happiness,
Nights;vacant,lonely and I’m a mess
As I sail upon these uneven waters
I wonder when our sufferings will end
Open barriers,flowing,swollen eyes
I want to be the man I am,I try
To let my folks know the truth about us
But as I look upon their faces
My resolve dissolves and I despair
The stars,the nature,the seas,the shore;
Except you,my heart knows no cure
And peace,it just wont come to me
Until you’re beside me,serene,secure
What crime did I commit,but to love you
Why wont this world just let us be?
I’ve made up my mind,I’ll make you mine
Don’t worry,the help would be divine
Just hold on,be brave,a little more wait
I’ll come for you,soon,I promise……
I’ll do the right thing,for us both.
I’ll be the strength to carry you;
The love you deserve,support you need
For what’s my life without you,my love…..?

Stupid Cupid Struck Me With A Broken Arrow!


images

Once upon a time I was this person
Careless and happy,with precious freedom
Then,one night I woke up with a piercing pain
An arrow through my heart,an apologetic face
Cupid said:”Sorry,the arrow’s broken.
You can’t be forever loveless and sane!”

This is how my story starts.
Ripped from my chest,my still beating heart
Tormented,broken,clenched in a fist
I try to resist,but I’m too weak.
The grip tightens,I scream out in pain!!!

“Go away stupid Cupid!Don’t be my bane.
I’d rather be happy and loveless and free.
Don’t shoot your broken arrows at me!”

index

let go please……!


You said you’ll come back

And those words I believed

You said we’ll be together again

And that’s what I dreamed

You left me with just a good-bye

To live with your memories or die

Did you mean everything you spoke?

Or were you merely good at lies?

I put my life on hold for you

I let my heart be carried away

You shook my world, stole my heart

I’ve shed enough tears, no more left to cry

You gave me a shoulder to lean on

Then took my soul, sucked my blood dry

O captor of my heart,

O keeper of the keys

Let me go, please set me free!!!

say the words


Just say the words and lit the fire.

You want me gone-you horrible liar!

You think I can’t see,

your wariness from me?

I’m not the one that you desire.

Just say the words and lit the fire.

You think you know me

but the things have changed.

I’m not a fool,I’m not deranged.

I can hold myself together

and my need isn’t dire.

Just say the words and lit the fire!

I wont stay,I won’t tag along

long before you knew it,I’d be gone.

so stop pretending,end this suffering sire.

Just say the words and lit the fire!

When did the masochist become a sadist?


Some days back,I happened to come across an interesting picture message on facebook.It said:

Mother:(noun)

<muth-ur>

meaning:someone who does two jobs without getting paid for even one of them.
note:also see:masochist

That was something I never thought before.Whoever wrote it-what can I say about them,obviously they have a good mind that can relate to things very well.

This and some recent events in my own home gave me this idea of a post.

Before I write more about the topic,I’d very much like to define these two Psychological terms I used in the title of this post.

According to Oxford dictionary:
Masochist(say:mas-ok-ist)

A person who enjoys things that seem painful or tiresome.

Sadist(say:say-dist)

A person who enjoys hurting other people.

The key difference between both is who is getting hurt.The Masochist hurts himself while sadist hurts others.

I’ve been meaning to write generally about Asian and particularly about Pakistani mums.

A mother works her butt off her whole life only to provide the best to her children.Unlike many of world’s liberal communities,a boy rarely leaves his home after marriage which means the daughter-in-law has to live with her in-law family.

The problem for a girl starts way before puberty but most part of which she doesn’t understand.Once she crossed her puberty,she’s bombarded with discussions on the topics of marriage and dealing with a husband or a mother in law.She’s told so many horrible things about a typical mother in law that by the time she reaches the time of her wedding,the mother part transforms itself into Monster-in-law in the mind of the bride.

And it doesn’t stop there.Before marriage,she’s fed with thoughts like-you don’t know how to work,your in laws won’t let you stay for 1 day at their place.

Some poor girl,who never touched her own hair to make a braid is forced to do all the chores of her home.From the life of a princess,she is suddenly demoted to the life of a petty serving girl.Above all that,her work always gets skeptical views instead of praise-and all that in her own home!

What I don’t get is,what are mothers thinking.Does their daughter suddenly become SUPER-GIRL when she reaches her puberty?Because I never saw any girl turning into one!

Mothers like to call it a “training for the next home”or “something for your own good”-and I call it a “Masochist turning into a Sadist!”

A mum could never be a sadist when we take the pleasure part of the word-she would never enjoy seeing her child suffer-thats my favourite part.I wish to ask all the mothers out there a little favour:try to get your little girls work with you from the very start of the conscious part of their life.This would help you to make your child love the work and avoid any possible friction between you and your daughters in future.

With the serving part out of the equation,the monster in law pat is easy to control.When you can be their best friends instead of being tyrants,so can their mother in law!

Good luck there 🙂