Diary Entry: Blunders


Dear Diary,

Never again would I ever be the moderator of another official program in my life.

*huff!!!*

I mean, seriously, the pressure, the blunders, the anxiety…….. That’s simply too much!

In case you are wondering what happened, well, I was asked to be the moderator for a workshop organized by the faculty of Social Sciences in our university today, because our “usual” moderator had to go out of station. The anxiety started building up yesterday evening when I thought about actually doing the deed.ย  But I spent the whole time recording a voice-over for a video that my little cousin was making for a competition in her college. I had the basic structure and the event schedule provided to me yesterday but my mind didn’t feel fresh enough to rehearse, by the time I finished recording. So I simply ignored the urge to practice (a decision that by the way I am glad to have made now.)

My day today, started with running towards the auditorium because I was 3 minutes late as the bus wasn’t on time. But turned out that i was 7-12 minutes early anyway. Anyway, the starting was a little jittery but I survived through most of the day by rushing to refill my water bottle again and again during the times when the speakers were lecturing and then announcing the next speaker. Half of the time was spent giving introductions and the other half of the time was spent calling out the designations and names of important people of the university, like the dean, the registrar, the acting vice chancellor. Not to mention the repeated changes in the sequence of events and my hurried scrolls on my diary to remember those changes.

But that wasn’t enough. The closing ceremony was yet an even bigger disaster, waiting to happen. As I came on stage to announce the names of the resource persons and the organizing committee members for the reception of their respective shields and certificates, a teacher and the dean kept bugging me with new names or information every second which confused me so much. I guess, some accidents are bound to happen. So there I was, publicly humiliating myself by mixing the names and designations of who should present the next shield to whom. And to top it off, I didn’t know the name of our acting vice chancellor or even the registrar (thanks to me being an antisocial moron who doesn’t give a damn to whatever is happening around her) and I might even get chastised for it later. But I’m glad, the nightmare is over!

Never again!!!

And the most disappointing part of today was that I couldn’t be attentive during the whole speaker’s session and it was related to Qualitative research- my research is a qualitative one as well. Oh, and my head of department didn’t come today so that was very discouraging as well. But I’ve told her that I hate her for not coming today, even though, we both know that’s not true!

And right now, I feel like- either drinking a big mug of tea or sleeping for years without being disturbed! *rolling my eyes* (Like that’s gonna happen -_- )

Mayn, I’m tired!

*yawns*

Diary Entry 133


Dear diary,
I’m back in hostel. Actually it’s been 2 days since I came back. I’m back to my old, boring, non-creative, lonely, indifferent self. It’s like I don’t exist anymore, just like before ๐Ÿ™‚ I had forgotten how it felt.
Anyway, another SIST came to an end about 2 weeks ago. This time I tried something new- Spoken Word. I didn’t think I could surprise myself but I did! I stood 3rd(and the SIST people wrote 2nd on my certificate :p )and it was my first ever attempt at something remotely similar to public speaking…… I mean, I thought I couldn’t talk in front of people and here I am! The other two competitions were a familiar territory so I won even with a bad throat. Alhamdulillah!
This year, I couldn’t live with my dormant self so I got my lazy bum up and moving. I volunteered for Youth club and SIST 2015. My duty was in Kids zone, where I made the worst ever cards that I ever made in my whole life but my first experience with kids went great. One cute kid, asked me to come to F-9 park every Sunday because she liked me and wanted to meet me again and remember me. Wow…. I mean WOW!!! I didn’t expect that. I mean, I’m so used to being hated by the people that I was kinda shocked and flattered because she kept insisting.
My last semester has started. That’s actually shocking….. how fast time runs. My “Crime-Leader” ain’t talking to me. I’m trying to be indifferent but its kinda hard. I’m planning on staying all the weekends at my aunt’s place. Hostel life is horrible! I can’t think of any better adjective to use with it. I’m just not into it anymore. I wanna roam about the twin cities, like a free spirit, not like my current always anxious self. I mean I don’t have serious enemies to talk about so what’s my problem? Why do I have to be so alert even inside my own room? Why do I have to keep looking over my shoulder as if something weird or bad is about to happen?(I don’t do it literally but there is always a casual but unusual alertness present.) Mum is still afraid to send me to university after what happened to my roommate but I’m not afraid. May I should be but I’m not!
My EVO is still broken and going to I-10 to get it fixed seems like a trip to Hell and back and I’m too lazy to do it :/
We have a morning semester this time with Fridays off. so long weekends would be most welcomed!
I wrote a poem yesterday, while sitting in class waiting for my teacher to come. I’m planning on going to MH on Friday to get my Internship certificate(Yup, internship is over-thank Goodness!). I spent most of it getting to know Rawalpindi better and remember its map anyway :p
I must go now. Have classes in the morning and I can’t think of anything better to write in here so I better just go :/

Until we meet again!