Some days back,I happened to come across an interesting picture message on facebook.It said:
meaning:someone who does two jobs without getting paid for even one of them.
That was something I never thought before.Whoever wrote it-what can I say about them,obviously they have a good mind that can relate to things very well.
This and some recent events in my own home gave me this idea of a post.
Before I write more about the topic,I’d very much like to define these two Psychological terms I used in the title of this post.
According to Oxford dictionary:
A person who enjoys things that seem painful or tiresome.
A person who enjoys hurting other people.
The key difference between both is who is getting hurt.The Masochist hurts himself while sadist hurts others.
I’ve been meaning to write generally about Asian and particularly about Pakistani mums.
A mother works her butt off her whole life only to provide the best to her children.Unlike many of world’s liberal communities,a boy rarely leaves his home after marriage which means the daughter-in-law has to live with her in-law family.
The problem for a girl starts way before puberty but most part of which she doesn’t understand.Once she crossed her puberty,she’s bombarded with discussions on the topics of marriage and dealing with a husband or a mother in law.She’s told so many horrible things about a typical mother in law that by the time she reaches the time of her wedding,the mother part transforms itself into Monster-in-law in the mind of the bride.
And it doesn’t stop there.Before marriage,she’s fed with thoughts like-you don’t know how to work,your in laws won’t let you stay for 1 day at their place.
Some poor girl,who never touched her own hair to make a braid is forced to do all the chores of her home.From the life of a princess,she is suddenly demoted to the life of a petty serving girl.Above all that,her work always gets skeptical views instead of praise-and all that in her own home!
What I don’t get is,what are mothers thinking.Does their daughter suddenly become SUPER-GIRL when she reaches her puberty?Because I never saw any girl turning into one!
Mothers like to call it a “training for the next home”or “something for your own good”-and I call it a “Masochist turning into a Sadist!”
A mum could never be a sadist when we take the pleasure part of the word-she would never enjoy seeing her child suffer-thats my favourite part.I wish to ask all the mothers out there a little favour:try to get your little girls work with you from the very start of the conscious part of their life.This would help you to make your child love the work and avoid any possible friction between you and your daughters in future.
With the serving part out of the equation,the monster in law pat is easy to control.When you can be their best friends instead of being tyrants,so can their mother in law!
Good luck there 🙂