Diary Entry: Hungry,Pissed and Hurting

Dear diary,
today, I have my Positive Psychology exam. And I don’t feel that much positive anymore. There are some things that hurt me, more than they should. And I keep wondering why. But then again, the things I care about and feel possessive about, if someone would mess with them, it would naturally hurt. I just couldn’t stop myself tonight. I know, like all the other previous times, I’m going to be as unclear as ever, but I’m hoping, writing would make me feel better.
The good thing is that I found some video and audio lectures on my topics. And I learn better by listening rather than reading. But beside this headache, something is really wrong with me today. I want to study but I don’t wanna touch any notes or lectures. And I most certainly don’t wanna explain why I’m suddenly feeling off.
Positive Psychology was supposed to bring out the best in us. To help us in flourishing our strengths and getting over our weaknesses. And right now, its having to complete opposite effect on me. Maybe I will feel better after I have eaten something.So, I’m gonna go and eat and maybe watch something I love- an episode from a series or maybe a movie, I dunno.
I am so much disappointed at myself right now! :/

P.S:Yelling inside my head again :/ God save the Queen!!!

Diary entry 42

Dear diary,

Today I had my first final exam and viva. I always rest properly before going for an exam but last night . . . . . even after going through everything and checking my writing stuff twice, when I hit the bed, I couldn’t sleep. You know I don’t usually dream and my sleep is kinda deep. Last night. . . . . I never stopped having dreams which were not at all related to my exam or studies or anything likewise. I tossed and turned all night and I wanted to kill myself there and then.

Both, exam and viva went superb (Alhamdulillah!) and I didn’t feel even a trace of fatigue when I woke up early for final revision, until late in the afternoon. I wanted to write earlier but couldn’t; now you know why.

Just woke up and feel hungry now 🙂

No promises of posting regularly in exams but I still hope to see you soon.


P.S: Need all the prayers I can get.