Diary Entry 123


Dear diary,
yaaayyyy,I’m back!!! And that too,sooner than I thought I would be. Isn’t it great? 😀 Well,I should be studying right now,but people keep talking to me whenever I try to study and when my mood to study vanishes,people go too. Its annoying and sometimes frustrating too but there’s nothing I have been able to do about it from the past 2 days :/ My cousins,friends,class fellows,family and other people to whom I haven’t talked for ages. Seriously, people,you need to stop doing that :/
And here I am, doing exactly nothing. Well, if you count listening to nasheeds, writing here,chatting on cell And occasionally when I get a little window of respite, reading something related to my subject;in nothing. My days are about to grow into some kinda nightmare. Internship in the morning and classes in the evening. Yeah,it will be difficult to manage but I will do it anyway, somehow, I’m sure.
There’s a story I was writing about 6 months ago or so,that I left unfinished. Recently,I gave it a reading again,and actually loved it so much that I want to complete it after all. I asked some of my friends to give it a try too and they loved it too. Told me to complete it.
*sigh*
I wanna do it as soon as possible. But my routine til date,is so bad, I dunno when would I complete it. But I will.
Dear diary, I sometimes feel like there’s a higher purpose to my life. As if I’m not meant to cook,do laundries or dishes,raise children after tying the knot. In fact, I dunno for sure,if I was made for such routines. For one,I don’t trust men,no matter how good or great they seem. And then the problem of me not liking people easily,isn’t an easy one to get over :/ there are very rare chances of me liking a person in my very first encounter. How would I like someone enough to actually make up my mind to marry him,is beyond me. Mum doesn’t know that yet. She still keeps drilling me with “the” lecture on starting to learn how to make a house a home :/ Ma, seriously,for the Nth time,I don’t wanna learn how to cook. I hate cooking :/ ugh,I’m hungry now. Actually I feel like I have hypoglycemia right now :@ I should run to the kitchen n get something to eat or drink. I’m not done with you yet,dear diary but I have so much pending work to do and then have to sleep. So,I will see you,when I see you 🙂

Sayonara!

Diary entry 110


Dear diary,
its not cold outside but I’m feeling cold. Even the quilt I have on isn’t enough. Perhaps its because I feel cold inside, void of any warmth of love. I don’t feel love for anyone or anything in this very moment. I even hate myself without any apparent reason. But I’d be damned if I denied knowing the reason this time. I know whats wrong with me. I just don’t wanna share the reason with anyone,not even myself!
I’ve been thinking. Actually, I’ve been thinking a LOT lately. And its true that if you over think any matter, negative thoughts start to claw at your heart. I don’t want that to happen to me but seems like its already in motion. So, I’m writing this to let go of any and every negative feeling that I have encountered in past half hour or so. And surprisingly, I’m hungry. Do you think over-thinking can have that effect on people?
Well, I have to run now or my stomach would start growling.
See ya!