Diary Entry: Little Things…


Dear diary,

I’m home, both in literal and figurative sense of the word. I didn’t inform at home that I was coming. It was at a spur of the moment decision, which by the way payed off. As my little sister opened the gate to let me in, she saw me with a heavy hiking bag over my shoulders, arms open, eyes mischievous and smiling, “taadaa!!!” I couldn’t help myself, she leapt forward, flinging her arm over my shoulder and another around my waist, hugging me close for a minute or two, or perhaps more, but who is counting πŸ˜‰Β  while jumping up and down in delight…….. totally worth it!!!

I had almost been beating my head off, thinking and thinking, obsessively, hurting myself in the process. I never knew or anticipated that I would need a break so soon from Lahore. I mean, I was home only last week and usually I kinda stay for at least one month before running back to my family, to recharge my spirit, but this time, I couldn’t even wait for a whole week. Odd, at least for me, given my history! And by my history I mean, when I went to Alhuda- to enjoy my first ever experience of a hostel and a life away from my family, I spent two months before coming back for the weekend there. I’ve always been tough and resilient that way. I don’t know what happened to me, but whatever happened, I don’t feel like worrying about it. On the contrary, I plan on enjoying this little window of respite to the full!

Oh, and I keep forgetting to post a story here that I wrote for my university magazine and it recently got published (Yup, Yaaaayyyy!!!), with some publication errors even though I read, re-read, re-re-read, re-re-re-read and even sent it to my friends for them to read and send constructive criticism, before sending it for publication. Uh, the irony! It still got published with some printing mistakes (hey! I sent them proof-read work.) But who cares?! (My heart is yelling, “of course I do, silly,” right now. Ugh!!!). Anyway, I’m happy that it has been published. It’s not exactly my first published work but I’m happy nevertheless. I’ll share it, asap, even though, I’m still a little possessive about it, for some very odd reason.

Anyway, writing again yesterday, reminded me of what I’ve been missing for so many months. I didn’t want to stop. That’s why I’m here! Plus I was happy and wanted to say something about it. A lesson I learned in my life, it’s not the big stuff, but always the little things that matter. People waiting for big stuff to happen to make them happy, keep waiting for a long long time, while the secret of happiness if actually right before their eyes, subtly hidden in the little, beautiful things….. I wish more people would start noticing.

Anyway, It’s almost 5 am. I must take my leave now.

Hoping to meet again, soon…..

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Happy B’day Chloe!


Yesterday I was there, tomorrow I may not.
The times we made up, the times we fought.
My life is just a reflection,full of your affection.
I’d spend hours,In those memories, lost.
I’ve known no passion greater than yours.
I’ve seen no better friend.
Time may be measured in seconds and hours
But your love has known no end.
Its hard to say in words how I feel.
A broken heart I will never tend.
As long as I have you close,
Of being happy I never have to pretend.
So much to say, so much is felt,
Mere thoughts of you and my heart melts.
Lucky as I am, to have seen, to have known
Your beauteous heart, a face set with frown.
The tantrums you throw, the fights you take on
So full of life, my heart you’ve won.
Love you with your good and bad.
Such pleasure with you I’ve always had.
No matter how much life keeps us apart

index
Be assured you’ll always be in my heart!

Diary Entry: Hungry,Pissed and Hurting


Dear diary,
today, I have my Positive Psychology exam. And I don’t feel that much positive anymore. There are some things that hurt me, more than they should. And I keep wondering why. But then again, the things I care about and feel possessive about, if someone would mess with them, it would naturally hurt. I just couldn’t stop myself tonight. I know, like all the other previous times, I’m going to be as unclear as ever, but I’m hoping, writing would make me feel better.
The good thing is that I found some video and audio lectures on my topics. And I learn better by listening rather than reading. But beside this headache, something is really wrong with me today. I want to study but I don’t wanna touch any notes or lectures. And I most certainly don’t wanna explain why I’m suddenly feeling off.
Arghhh!!!
Positive Psychology was supposed to bring out the best in us. To help us in flourishing our strengths and getting over our weaknesses. And right now, its having to complete opposite effect on me. Maybe I will feel better after I have eaten something.So, I’m gonna go and eat and maybe watch something I love- an episode from a series or maybe a movie, I dunno.
I am so much disappointed at myself right now! :/

P.S:Yelling inside my head again :/ God save the Queen!!!

Diary Entry 124


Dear diary,
guess what pleasant surprise I got today πŸ˜€ My blog is 3 years old. My little baby. I can’t believe I didn’t give up on you,even after seriously considering it for so many times. And guess what, I’m so overjoyed now!
yay
Well,I just wanted to remember this day,as I didn’t before :p Yup,that’s totally me πŸ˜€
Well, I didn’t have any other purpose to be here tonight. I’m mentally tired and sleepy. But this news made me wanna jump with happiness. Thought, it a little happiness,worth sharing πŸ™‚
Will see you again,soon.
If life permits…

Buonanotte

Diary entry 117


Dear diary,
Today’s exam went great with one little regret or lets say misfortune but that’s all. I’m more focused, more alert today. Don’t know for how long, but I’m enjoying every moment of being serious and focused. It rarely happens for me,so I’m trying to benefit from it as much as I can.
Some days back, I saw the movie called “Her.” It sure is a lovely movie. But one thing I loved was the guy’s job. I mean,seriously, he dictated some beautiful stuff. And so powerful that it would make one fall in love. I secretly envy his job :-p I mean, why does he get to do the most interesting job in a most interesting way and I don’t? Yeah,I know,it’s just a movie. It isn’t real. but if it ever is, I know now what my dream job would be!
Dearie, one more exam to go. Then I would be able to have some respite, hopefully.
Did I tell you that I feel uneasy when I’m in a crowded place? Well,it happened again,today. I went to the market place and was so uncomfortable after half an hour or so,that I had to practically drag my roommate to get the hell out of the place. Still a little bit of claustrophobic I guess. Every single time seems like its stronger the past. Who knows for sure. Anyway, for the first time I feel kinda light and free. Enjoying every moment of it.
But I should be careful not to get too used to it. Some people actually have to work hard to be happy in life. I guess, with the talents I’ve been bestowed with, I have a little harder test than most. Off course, it doesn’t get any easier. But still I’m happy to be me.
indexAnd I feel it in my bones!!!

Diary entry 3


Dear diary,

Writing early today because I’m alone right now,listening to the most beautiful Taraweeh Salah live.Feeling so light and happy πŸ˜€

Everything is back on the track in life-except for my SIM network.Its still horrible and of course the power breakdown-how can I forget that one!Trying to write something new-just an experiment though.Hope it would be successful.I’m planning to let it out soon,but depends on how much I get time to write.

Miss my university life so dearly(working at home-doing all the household chores aren’t to my liking!).Heard that the result for 2nd semester is out(Don’t even go there,I’m not sharing it under any circumstances!Ugh,kidding πŸ˜€ don’t even know myself yet!)

September-Please come quick,want to be doing something!

Family invasion on my solitude-gotta run!
’till next time-
Ciao!