Diary Entry: In a Big Mess Again


Dear Diary,

I’m in a big mess again, not that anybody really cares!

I think I’m suffering from binge-season-watching disorder :/ And it’s stopping me from working on my research proposal. which is due very very soon. One more thing that has been bugging me is not being able to think a suitable title/ name for my novel. I have the story inside my head, waiting, ever so impatiently, to get out. But my lack of creativity when comes to titles, is giving me a hard time. Plus, I’ve decided, I want to snap a picture myself or take help from my little brother for the cover, as he’s an amazing- emerging photographer. So there’s that!

Oh, by the way, ever since I changed my laptop, whenever I write as, it gets written as an “ass.” I try to proofread the stuff I post but if some day by some mistake it remains unchanged, well, I warned you in advance 😀

I need a big push to write my research proposal. I’ve been delaying it for 10 days, watching different seasons and movies :/

By the way, Victorious is one awesome season. Seeing them, I want to write my own songs and compose music, even though I don’t know how to write a song or play a musical instrument. Yup, I’ve been crazy in the past slightly. The status has been changed to “completely, utterly” crazy.

I really need to work on that stupid proposal!!!

Arghhh, grrrrr!!!!

Somebody save meeeeeeeeee!!!!

 

 

 

Diary Entry: Dreams


Dear diary,
Dreams SUCK!
I should know, I’m a sucker for dreams. The daydreams. Not the ones seen with closed eyes. And my dream institute sucks big time as well. Not exactly the institute, but some parts of it. Major portions!
For example, my university’s hostel and management. Garrison University held a such charm in my naive mind, before I was officially a part of it. Now I know, it was made for one purpose and one purpose alone; Business!
Yes, I’m ashamed to say, that they have turned such a sacred task of transfer of knowledge into merchandise. The more students advance through their grades, the more expensive the degrees become and with hectic routines in which one can’t even do a part time job to earn, sadly enough, we; those who wish to get higher education, are breaking our parents’ backbone by taking so much money.
As if that’s not enough, mess charges are increased, whenever the management wishes to do so, without prior notice or consent. For the sake of their advertisement, they have mentioned on their website that the hostel is fully furnished(yeah, I put my stuff in an invisible cupboard everyday, and sleep on an invisible bed. How charming! )
On one side, this place has helped me in my personal growth and on the other, its the reason of a constant disappointment, rage, depression, frustration and all other such
ugly emotions- you name it!
I’m tired of this city, I’m tired of this place. Islamabad was heaven compared to this hellhole here! I wanna go back, so badly!
Waiting for any such miracle!
I must go. I’m so exhausted :/
As for these relentless people- will see you guys in front of Allah! He will see to your injustice there and then.
May Allah help save us all from such hypocritical lot, that comprises my university management.

P.S: Dear Islamabad, I miss you so badly and I would try my level best to come back soon ❤

Diary entry 43


Dear diary,

I’m writing with a frustrated heart today. Last night my roomies had a bad argument. Whenever they do that, I find myself, reluctant, but still in the middle of the storm. Why don’t they leave me alone!

I’m sleep deprived today and agitated. I want to go some place where no one can find me. A place, where I find peace.

My roommate has this deadly disease. She’s prone to excessive complaining and taunting. I’m sure, way deep inside, she has a great heart. I’ve seen her affection and care. When I’m physically down, she takes care of me.  But when I’m back to normal, she taunts me nonstop. I so much want to tell her to leave me alone then and that I’m sorry that I am not the saint she wants me to be. I want to say that I hope that one day I’m as caring as she is but I certainly don’t want to practice being caring here. I don’t want to change for her or anyone-according to anyone’s wishes (I’m not especially proud of some thoughts that keep crossing my mind)

What kills me inside is that I can’t say any of these things without hurting her. And I don’t wanna hurt her.  Because if I do, the guilt won’t leave me alone. This leaves me one choice only: to shut up and endure!

But who knows one of these days I snap and say all these things to her.

*evil grin*

For now, my lips are sealed.

Anyway, I have a building headache. I should try to catch some sleep

Adieu!

 

Diary entry 35


Dear diary,

I happen to be dealing with a lot of nerves lately. And when I say a LOT, I mean it!

Palpitations, insomnia, sweating and Hypoglycemia are some of the conditions I’ve been experiencing from the past week which means I need to stop and take a good look at what I did to get so many visitors who don’t seem like they want to leave me alone anytime soon.

I guess the work load is increasing and I still haven’t gotten over “Smallville”,maybe its the real reason,who knows! Life is kinda on hold or maybe it’s moving too fast to keep a track of. I dunno, I’m confused and believe me, its frustrating.

Tomorrow is a big day. My last ever presentation, in this semester of course, and a competition. And frankly, I’m kinda freaking out. You’d think I’d go and prepare for my presentation and yet here I am, writing.

*sigh*

I thought writing here would help. Guess I wasn’t right after all.

I see an old friend online, maybe talking to her would help.

Catch you later,

Ciao!