Diary Entry: I Write Again


Dear diary,

It’s been 4 months…… who would’ve thought that I can stay AWOL for 4 months and not say a single word….. No, I don’t have a good reason for my absentees. I’ve just been overworked and lazy and unmotivated and distracted and uninspired and oh, all the usual reasons, for on and off. I’ve been meaning to , no, wanting to write in here for as long as I haven’t written here but every single time, I didn’t. I can’t fathom why.

It’s my last semester in LGU. I still don’t fancy Lahore but I will miss my university and most importantly it’s people, very much. I’ve made more acquaintances here, by will as well as by force (ahem, ahem) than I care to accept. My time here has been enjoyable so far. I’ve also made some people resent me although I don’t know what did I do to make them so. SIST’17 is just around the corner and between freelance writing, university classes, thesis work and different competitions, my mind feels like totally fried but still excited.I don’t know how long I can go on like this though. I’m in a great need for respite but the time never comes and my eyes keep awaiting.

There is one more event coming. NIMUN’17. Surprisingly I have made it into the team again but I’m not very much positive that I will be accompanying the final list of my university’s team ambassadors seeing that my knowledge about Politics, current affairs and all the other “important” topics is seriously lacking.

Anyway, lets see what happens. I will have to work really hard on this one if I want to make it to Islamabad.

And today, I’m just writing for the sake of writing with no purpose in mind. It’s great to be back though!

Until next time!

Diary Entry: SIST 2016


Dear diary,
SIST2016 starts today, in sha Allah! I couldn’t resist coming back here, to my beloved Islamabad. As soon as the air of my beloved city entered my lungs, I felt as if I’ve been shaken awake from a very deep sleep!
I never knew I would be that happy to come back here. The Euphoria won’t go even though, at the back of my mind I know, this time, winning in a competition, is close to impossible. I haven’t done it before and I haven’t prepared for it either. But just being in Islamabad, has filled me with such tremendous joy, which I can’t even explain in words!
There is something nagging at the back of my mind-my love life, or lack thereof, sucks, BIG TIME! I know I will worry about it, obsessively think about it, but the thoughts of it, I have saved for later. I don’t want to put lesser effort than I actually can, into the work I have to do. So, tension is a big no.
People used to say, a heart in love, does crazy things. I personally think it to be nothing but crap. But recently, my heart’s been giving me subtle ultimatums. I’ve been experiencing “Arrhythmia,” Most frequently “Tachycardia.” Thanks to House M.D, I have learned the terms and now I know their meanings as well. I’ve been trying not to take any kind of stress but getting rid of love for someone, from your heart, is a very difficult feat. And I don’t love, I melt in love. It’s not just a deep feeling but a way of life. It courses through my veins, keeps my heart beating. And sadly enough, these are not just plain words. I would, if I ever get a chance, die for the ones I love.
Anyway, I must go, have some rest. It’s a big day today, just waiting to happen!
And I’m not even prepared for the competitions yet :/

P.S: I miss a very dear reader of mine- Muneera from Occupied Kashmir. Girl, wherever you are, I hope you are in the best of your health and that you can get in touch soon!
Love

Me.

Diary Entry 133


Dear diary,
I’m back in hostel. Actually it’s been 2 days since I came back. I’m back to my old, boring, non-creative, lonely, indifferent self. It’s like I don’t exist anymore, just like before 🙂 I had forgotten how it felt.
Anyway, another SIST came to an end about 2 weeks ago. This time I tried something new- Spoken Word. I didn’t think I could surprise myself but I did! I stood 3rd(and the SIST people wrote 2nd on my certificate :p )and it was my first ever attempt at something remotely similar to public speaking…… I mean, I thought I couldn’t talk in front of people and here I am! The other two competitions were a familiar territory so I won even with a bad throat. Alhamdulillah!
This year, I couldn’t live with my dormant self so I got my lazy bum up and moving. I volunteered for Youth club and SIST 2015. My duty was in Kids zone, where I made the worst ever cards that I ever made in my whole life but my first experience with kids went great. One cute kid, asked me to come to F-9 park every Sunday because she liked me and wanted to meet me again and remember me. Wow…. I mean WOW!!! I didn’t expect that. I mean, I’m so used to being hated by the people that I was kinda shocked and flattered because she kept insisting.
My last semester has started. That’s actually shocking….. how fast time runs. My “Crime-Leader” ain’t talking to me. I’m trying to be indifferent but its kinda hard. I’m planning on staying all the weekends at my aunt’s place. Hostel life is horrible! I can’t think of any better adjective to use with it. I’m just not into it anymore. I wanna roam about the twin cities, like a free spirit, not like my current always anxious self. I mean I don’t have serious enemies to talk about so what’s my problem? Why do I have to be so alert even inside my own room? Why do I have to keep looking over my shoulder as if something weird or bad is about to happen?(I don’t do it literally but there is always a casual but unusual alertness present.) Mum is still afraid to send me to university after what happened to my roommate but I’m not afraid. May I should be but I’m not!
My EVO is still broken and going to I-10 to get it fixed seems like a trip to Hell and back and I’m too lazy to do it :/
We have a morning semester this time with Fridays off. so long weekends would be most welcomed!
I wrote a poem yesterday, while sitting in class waiting for my teacher to come. I’m planning on going to MH on Friday to get my Internship certificate(Yup, internship is over-thank Goodness!). I spent most of it getting to know Rawalpindi better and remember its map anyway :p
I must go now. Have classes in the morning and I can’t think of anything better to write in here so I better just go :/

Until we meet again!