What Binds Us is Stronger


How can our hearts not cry, to a point where the tears run dry?
For they all witnessed, the worst of all crimes….
Muslim genocide in Burma, in Palestine.
Or take the Peshawar Massacre in Pakistan…
Uniform clad little flowers, trampled before they could blossom.
My ears can still hear them scream
Heart, grieving over our broken dream.
That’s the kind of nation I am a part of!
That’s the kind of nation…….
So often I asked myself, why?
Why only Muslims on the suffering side?
Here, lemme quote whats written in the Qur’an
The answer is in Surah Aal e Imran
وَاعْتَصِمُوا بِحَبْلِ اللَّهِ جَمِيعًا وَلَا تَفَرَّقُوا
“And hold firmly onto the rope of Allah and do not be divided….”
the Irony…..
We forgot our legacy, our enemies remember.
We fell apart, they came close together.
My dear listeners, my brothers and sisters
Can we agree on one thing today?
That divided we’ll fall, so united we’ll always stay…
For there is hurt, here,
That cannot be fixed with painkillers or poetry
And no matter how wide we stretch our hands,
alone, we can’t hold all the pain we want to heal.
And in the end, we’ll harvest whatever we sow.
So united we must stand and united we must bow.
For what binds us is stronger than what divides us.
Show me you agree; show me you’re proud to be one Islamic family.
Hold each other’s hand, raise ‘em in the air
Show me you understand, lemme see that you care.
So you see, together is where we all belong
For what binds us together is stronger than strong.

P.S: My Spoken word poem for SIST2015 that won me 3rd prize 🙂 Alhamdulillah!
editing courtesy:Max Risky
Inspiration: Sarah Kay

Diary Entry:Writing From Hell-hole


Dear diary,
It’s been so long since I last wrote but I’ve missed writing so much that I’ve started to get overwhelmed by the ideas I get these days. My finals are just around the corner and so is SIST 2015. My Internship was supposed to end by the end of January but it got extended til February 10,2015. I’ve been living in AFIC-NIHD AFNS Officers Mess for past 19 days. At first, it felt like I’ve been living any Army dream. But now that I have this life,no matter how temporary, I feel as if my own room in my university hostel is my only link to my sanity. It’s my only safe haven! I don’t wanna live here anymore! The food is good and ample but I don’t have any peace of mind. I haven’t been able to sleep comfortably at night, since I came to this Godforsaken place, so, when It’s finally time to wake up, I’m too tired to leave the bed :/ I usually spend my days either in hospital where I waste my entire time waiting for a miracle to happen or in bed, waiting for another miracle to happen. Sometimes I forget how loneliness gnaws at my soul because I have a friend by my side(virtually-even though i wish it was in flesh and blood) and at other times, I miss my teddy bear,who probably misses me too,sitting alone on my bed in my Uni hostel. My only escape ever from this rotten routine is when I go out, roam the roads of Pindi, with lots of things that I need to buy but end up not buying because I dread going in to shops and getting them. So I end up either eating or buying a lot of edibles that I finish before the night is even up!
I miss my home,my family. But even when my exams are over,I wont be able to go home because of my internship. I miss my friends but I wont be able to share any new moments with them because I wont be in hostel to be with them. And the worst part is,that the internship sucks too! It’s nothing like my old one, and I miss my supervisor so much in moments like this.
I’ve been reading 3 books these days. But I can’t find peace in them any longer. I am bored to my core!!!
I missed my presentations and I don’t seem to care any more. I don’t freaking have prepared for my finals and I don’t give a damn about. I just need a time out! I wish there was something like a time out in real life, I so dearly wish!
Someone told me today that I’m an ordinary girl,desperate for uniform, in my inbox. Yeah,great,that tells so much about you too! Plus even if I’m desperate, I don’t see myself drooling over your uniform, I want one for me, not a uniform clad husband for heaven’s sake! But telling an ass hole all this, wont turn him into a gentleman. And such a person douche-bag is not even worth my answer.
Anyway, I can’t say life isn’t good,perhaps its too good and I can’t appreciate it anymore. I need to see the good things in life that I used to notice before. I need to go back to the way I was not long before. I need to let go of this miserable and unsatisfied persona I keep carrying around with me. I need to live a little more!!!
May be,one of my aimless walks through the city would help me right now.
I should be moving, don’t wanna get late.

Until we meet again!

Diary Entry 132


Dear diary,
I dunno if I forgot to tell you that we have an evening semester this time with internship in the morning. Our department has totally gone crazy. We are getting piles and piles of assignments and presentations,some of them punishments for doing something and others,punishments for not doing something :-/ Seems like 3.5 years are enough to irritate the hell outta someone,or maybe our department people think so….
I’m this quiet,calm,collected and confident person outside, and inside, I’m totally freaking out!!! How am I supposed to get all the stuff done by the due date? Okay, fine, I know I can, if I put some effort but do I wanna put that effort? NO!!! I don’t wanna go outside my comfort zone even if its for the best. I don’t!
I don’t hate my department but I surely hate it’s people. Well, maybe Hate is too strong a word. Lets say, I don’t like them….I won’t be caught dead with them…. So I guess, it’s not really Hate :p
Sorry,I’m babbling again :/
It’s just that I don’t write very often any more and I totally miss it. So when I do, I tend to over talk a bit…..okay, a bit too much, but its okay I guess. It’s not hurting anyone and writing sets me free…..
My finals start on January 5,2015 and I’m kinda scared. No, things are not difficult but I’m so anxious these days. My internship date happens to be December 21,2014 and it wont really be useful for me in this semester but I’m gonna do it anyway, for experience. For the case reports, I’m glad that I went to CMH Sialkot when I did,for internship. It’s helping me a LOT.
And….. I miss my Psychologist! Right now, I’m missing her so much :/
Maybe, we’ll get to meet soon in sha Allah.
The only thing that keeps me going these days is the little bit of Qur’anic teachings that stayed with me. Especially the ayah in which Allah says that He never puts any burden on person who isn’t capable of bearing it. We are always judged with tests that are made with respect to our abilities. I guess, being in this university right now is my version of test. I’m just glad I don’t have too much time left here. And it also saddens me because I really loved the place and the “green buses”…. its only the people whom I don’t like and my dislike for them makes me bind sometimes and I think I hate my university. Th truth is, I don’t! If only there is some sort of dramatic change in our whole faculty,replacing old geysers(excuse my language, I’m not feeling really warm about my department people today :/ not proud of this word but I’m still gonna use it.) with brand new,more understanding staff members, it would be great, just about now!
Anyway, SIST 2015 is approaching way too quickly. I will have some days to memorize the required stuff after exams but I dunno how to feel about it just yet. I mean, I did mess up last time too…. I’m lucky that Allah still got me !st positions for both my categories. I’m not waiting for a miracle this time. I’m sure I will work hard when the time comes, in sha Allah.
That been said, I must leave now.

See you soon.
P.S:I know it would be soon(if life permits) because I’m most talkative in my exam season anxiety season 😉

Diary entry 52


Dear diary,

SIST would be over tonight. Then one more year before it comes back. I’m going to miss it. Hey, today I got my certificate of participation for the last year 🙂
Yesterday, everything was in frenzy. My cell got “mutilated” but it kinda survived. Except for the back cover- it doesn’t fix anymore and it’s not broken either.
I’m glad I didn’t mess up today.
Yesterday, my aunt’s mother in law passed away. And guess what, the theme of SIST this year was related to death too. To tell you the truth, I do fear for myself. I mean, well you know, we all have fears of unknown, right?!
Anyway, I’m in hostel with nothing to do but eat “Savour” food while my family is back on the way to home. Miss ‘em already!
Well, maybe I should eat or drink “something something” or you know. . . . . .

Hastalavista!

Diary entry 51


Dear diary,

I do realize,its been a week since we last talked(well,its me who does all the talking,but still . . . you know what I mean. I know, right now, you would’ve given me a “poisonous” stare if it was ever possible). I’m back in hostel,well I came 2 days back, and since then I was trying to will myself to write something, but sometimes my laziness is more potent than other times. Anyway, I have severe pain in my left hip-joint. Its made walking difficult for me, but I’ll survive, I’m sure 🙂

SIST 2013 (Shifa Inter-scholastic Tournament 2013) starts tomorrow morning in Faisal Mosque Auditorium. It’s difficult to contain my excitement for the event. My whole family is coming today. And I have to learn ayahs for the competition yet(yeah, I’m in trouble yet again!). Dunno how long it would take, to learn ’em, but I’m on it. And I’m not resting until its done.

God! why do I feel sleepy all the time?!*confused and sleepy*

gotta go.

See ya some other time!

Diary entry 50


Dear diary,

Its been a busy week. Had to drag myself to Jhelum for the “Nikkah” ceremony of my cousins on Sunday. Then Monday went by (in rest). Tuesday came and my little sister had to go to McDonalds for “Naat competition.” On my mother’s request, the function started with my recitation. The Judge for the competition had a stern face and my little sister was afraid she wont win. As the competition came closer to its end, Mum went to the organizers again. Me and my little sister performed an English  Nasheed by Sami Yousaf.

Time for the announcement of winners and the first position goes to ME and my little sister!

(And I wasnt even a part of competition).

Mum was so excited, so was the teacher from my ex-school. So by the end of evening, we took two prizes home 😉

Now mum wants me to teach her some more stuff for all the competitions to come, before I head back Hostel.

Dear diary,I’m sorry I wasn’t able to post more often this week. Thanks to dear WAPDA for taking light for 5 hours in one stretch 🙂

Gotta run!