Diary Entry: The Downward Spiral


Dear diary,

This year has been a disaster, from the start. The Pandemic tearing the families apart, extroverts being forced into social distancing, introverts being forced to live in quarantine with extroverts around; the recent colonel’s wife fiasco, an elaborate scheme to defame our beloved armed forces; the PIA plane crash just days before Eid; Indians making insensitive comments on social media about both incidents….. I dunno why, it just seems that our end is near. Makes me wonder, where is humanity going? Why is it seeping out of us all?

I would never blame a whole country or nation for the abrasiveness of a few. Pakistan does have some crude people, and so does every country but to be happy on someone’s death…. Well, its downright cruel.

And as for the Armed forces defaming incident, hey! I’m an army brat, and we aren’t what that woman made us to be. We don’t think we are better than anyone. We don’t think that only the civilians need to obey laws or that we are above them somehow. The actions of one sub-standard person do not, and I repeat, DO NOT represent military families. We get disciplined for stepping out of the line, more so than other children. We are taught morals and values and are expected to follow them. Actions of one bad person do not put us all in the same category. Period.

As someone who has been positive even in the face of negativity mostly, I suddenly feel slightly leaning towards negative now. I feel tired. Tired of cruelty the people show each other. Tired of the constant disregard of people towards each other. Tired of having arguments with people around me. Tired of being idle. Tired of existing……

I want to leave. This world of technology and misery, to find some quiet place where nobody would bother me. Where bad news won’t find me. Where I won’t have to look at the cruelty with which we have slaughtered our humanity. Where nobody would think that the more they use profanity and curses, the cooler they are. Where the youth won’t record absurd tiktok videos or waste their precious time playing PUBG.

I want to look for peace, in far off mountains, under dense forest trees, away from all the heartbreak this world seems to be currently offering. The end of this world, just seems around the corner. For some, it came yesterday for some it might be today, tomorrow or the day after…..

I don’t know how to end this on a positive note today. So I can only pray, that the things end well, whenever they do. And that people see some sense before its too late and the damage is irreparable.

Diary entry 89


Dear diary,
I haven’t been me for some past days. With the cold growing outside,my throat has become a torture. Bad voice,cough attacks . . . . And when I take medicines,I sleep the whole day and the whole night :/ Its irritating.
I went to my university doctor today and she prescribed an inhaler.I’ve been feeling a little better since then but dizziness just wont leave me alone 😦
I had something in my mind before taking a long nap,that I wanted to talk about,here.But can’t remember it now,at all.
Only two of my class presentations are left and then finals . . . . .
My department is conducting a trip to Kallar Kahar,Khewra and Fort Katas.I wanted so much to go,still do. But my mum wants me to stay put. Saying that there have been several accidents in past few days,due to fog,killing at least 13 people in my own city alone. I still wanna go,but maybe I wont,just for my mum’s satisfaction. Plus,if my whole journey is spent in drowsiness,it wont be very fruitful.

Anyway,it’s almost mess time.
Catch you later in sha Allah!