Decieved….


Biting retorts,un-trusting mind,
wounded heart,
that’s what you left behind.
Facing future,eyes on past
questioning present
ruining myself so fast.
To hell with you and good times
doesn’t salvate you
from all your crimes.
Did you think without you beside me
that I’m nothing?
Wrong! I’m better and stronger,cant you see?
I wanted,with you,my life being spent.
Your deception,put my wish to an end.

Diary Entry 125


Dear diary,
my straight hair is back,it touches my waist and I’m simply ecstatic about it 🙂
Apparently I have consumed my 30GB limit of my internet package within 10 or 12 days(though I still wonder how I managed to accomplish that!). I came to know about this news last night and of course I was devastated(okay,with a little bit of exaggeration). If I recharge it before October 11,every single GB usage will cost me 150Rs,which is a stupid kinda rule. But I guess it good I spend most of my days at my aunt’s place now. Will keep my mind off my EVO :/ And time to go home is so close too. Not sure when is the exact day but hopefully some day in the next week. And you know,at home,I don’t have to bother about an internet connection because turning the lappie on is kinda outta question there.
Anyway,it’s lunch time and I’m starving.
Catch you later!

Diary Entry:I’m still pissed off


Dear diary,
the day before yesterday I woke up with a start. It was some kind of dream that woke me,when it started to go too wrong. Then yesterday,I woke up with another bad dream. The day before, when I woke up,I felt down and bad. No such thing yesterday,alhamdulillah! But I’m still pissed,at so many things.
1st being my internet connection. Its been a pain in the ass for past some days and just to get it to work properly,I had to try different things,which included making space on my hard drive to refresh my windows,which by the way went wrong. And later during my classes I kept thinking about how to fix it and whom to ask for help. I kept worrying. Alien buddy might be a computer whiz kid,but asking for help there was out of question. So I knew by the end of my classes that I had to do it on my own,somehow. With a racing heart,that wanted to drop out of my chest, I started working on it. And for the very first time,installed windows on my lappie,without any assistance. But I didn’t have time to feel accomplished. My roomie passed some comment which almost made me breathe fire….. well,almost….if I was a dragon,she would’ve been a roasted chicken by now. Anyway, I yelled at my other roommate,more than once and decided that I must shut up before things…and by things I mean my anger,got too out of hand. And then I found something that gave me a laugh. Its not something decent but I still wanted to share it. So here it goes:

images
It helped me a little bit. I started writing this post yesterday and had to leave it in the middle because of my class time. Didn’t get a chance to complete it because I was in such a hurry to come back from class,get ready to come to my aunt’s place. Now I’m here,sitting all alone,writing this,when everyone else sleeps. Its a blessing to get some “Me-time” at my aunt’s place because its as rare as having family time in hostel. Anyway, my aunt and uncle are going for Pilgrimage on Sunday,which is a great news,of course. This means I finally get to meet my grandpa after a long time(He’ll be here to see her off).
My application for internship in Armed Forces Institute of Mental Health(AFIMH) has been forwarded to General Head Quarters(GHQ) for approval. Fingers crossed!
The more I see how things are in AFIMH,the more I miss my Psychologist and calm and quiet,non-crowded Department of Mental Health in CMH Sialkot.
*sigh*
Guess,I’m not a big city,crowd loving person after all. I just don’t know how would I work in such a suffocating environment here. I’d probably have to take it as a big challenge. That’s one way of actually getting through those days without suffocating myself half to death. But then again,I’m sure I’ll manage.
Anyway,Its late and I don’t wanna keep writing.

See Ya 🙂