Diary entry 82

Dear diary,
Another sleepless night it is. Where I’ve tried my best to doze off but failed miserably. It started out as a conclusion to a lovely day but with the darkness of sky came the darkness back inside me. I cried to my full tonight and my eyes hurt now,badly so. But I needed closure,I needed to move on from a past held very dear to me. A past I cherished and a past that turned from lovely,to hurting. I needed to get over it,needed to open up and let go. . . .to bleed the memories out,till my mind was overcome with numbness.
When we let something hurt us,who is to decide for how long should the torture go on? How much damage is okay before we finally move on? Why do we wear our hearts on our sleeves,open and defenseless,for people to deal with,however they please?
For me,I was responsible for my own demise. This one lesson I never seem to learn. It was perhaps a moment of weakness when I let someone closer to my heart,close enough to be able to hurt. But I don’t understand. Where did I go wrong? It was supposed to be my strength but seems like it did me little good. Anyway, I’m feeling much better. Lighter actually. Because how long can you keep your baggage with you? There comes a time when you finally have to drop it because it was slowing you down. Tonight was ‘the night’ for me.
Another chance at a fresh start it is!
Uh-oh,my eyes are protesting now. So catch ya later. . .


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