Diary entry 75


Dear diary,

Yup,2nd post today 🙂 See,I told you I’ve missed you so much!
Yes,I’ve tried living among people,interacting with them.Its good to be among people,don’t get me wrong.But now coming back to you and writing here,made me realize that I’m not really a people person.I enjoy your company more than I enjoy actual people.Actually,I don’t mind people.I mean talking to someone via writing is fun,gives me comfort and I don’t have to risk coming out of my comfort-zone or letting someone enter it.But interacting with actual people just increases the chances for heartburn by ten-folds.
Anyway,this isn’t why I’m writing.I feel just fine now.Still haven’t been able to concentrate on my studies though.So I’m kinda under-prepared for my exam in the morning.Haven’t been able to eat a meal properly in two nights,my stomach aches and I feel nauseated even when I go near food.Yeah,stress has done its job perfectly well.Its gone but the signs remain.And honestly,I don’t know,for how long I wont be able to eat properly even after being hungry for hours.(God save the Queen!)

Desperate times call for desperate measures,right?
*evil grin*Aha,I ate a chocolate muffin,without gagging,it’s a good sign I guess 😉

Well,this post is basically for my friends who have been with me on every step of my panic attack.I know,I can be a nutcase when I’m stressed(some of you might have the urge to say,you are a nutcase even when you are not stressed :p ). But thank you all for being there for me and not leaving me alone.In the end being physically available doesn’t really matter when you are emotionally available for your friend.I am really lucky to have you people by my side and in my heart 🙂 very blessed,indeed.
(I’m kinda conflicted,should I take names or leave you be?)
Anyway,thanks to my besties,my chat buddy and my spiritual sister 😉

Time to sleep if I wanna be up early for preparation
Sayonara!

P.S:Occasional bugging is good for health of the bugger.Keep hidden,keep safe 😉

Diary entry 74


Dear diary,

It’s probably my first entry in 4 months.I’ve missed you,no doubt about that but I couldn’t get myself to write anything.The reason,I guess is that I might have changed a little bit over time,and not in a good way.I’ve become more introvert I guess.It kills me,but its there.I withdraw from people more often than not.And maybe I have a damn good reason for that.
Its been two nights,I’ve been crying without any control.So many things going on my mind that for a moment I felt that those things broke me.But I’m okay.On the road to recovery.Some things that are going on still sting.But what the hell,that’s life.I know it will pass,sooner or later so why waste my time.I will cry again if I feel like it but it wont be because I’m broken.It will be because sometimes you have to let go,let the tears flow.And letting go is the hardest thing but it doesn’t make one coward.It makes one stronger .
I want to say so many things without hurting anyone’s  feelings.But these days you never know who will be reading the stuff you write.I’m hurt,yes but its nothing that I can’t take care of.And hurting someone back isn’t what I do,it’s just not in me.
Anyway,I have mid-term exams,starting tomorrow morning and I still have to start from scratch.So I better roll.

P.S:It’s so nice to be back 🙂