Diary entry 72

Dear diary,

I’m going to my aunt’s place today.Missed my bus earlier because didn’t know it’s departing time.But this time when the buses leave I’d be in one of them In Sha Allah!

My heart is officially out of order.There is a peculiar feeling,almost like fear.I have no reason to feel fear but there is something inside,I can’t quite place.Still torn between going home and staying.I’m hoping that a visit to my aunt’s place would help me decide.I dunno how my Kenyan roommate and all the other foreigners live even 2 to 4 years without going home.I don’t know if I’d ever be able to do that.

I miss my little sister,I miss my mum,and dad and brothers . . . . .


Anyway,its extremely hot here and I’m bored again.

My heart wont stop killing me.Its like its warning me that something bad is going to happen and soon.Dunno what,but I’d rather take it seriously because,it is right most of the time.

I seriously have no idea what I came here to write,all my thoughts are gone.so I better go too.

See you very soon again,if life permits!



Diary Entry 71

Wing Chun Ad

Wing Chun Ad (Photo credit: Apreche)

Dear diary,

                     My exams are over.Actually they ended three days back but I’ve been kinda wasting my time since then.Sometimes overwhelmed by things around me,sometimes wanting to throw temper tantrums on people,on the other times too soft at heart,almost breakable.Anyway,I have no idea why I put writing here off for so long.Its always a relief to be able to share with you.I’m still in hostel for Youth Club summer camp and Martial Arts classes.I despise every second of my stay here,before the classes actually start.Then I enjoy to my fullest.Its like finally having a purpose in life and going after my life’s biggest passion-learning self-defense.Yes, I’m going to call it self defense because you know me,I never pick up a fight.

I’m torn between wanting to stay and learn Wing Chun Kung-fu or go home and be with my family.Its difficult to decide what its gonna be.For now I’m staying.I’ll go to my aunt’s place,hey,that’s my home too!

Between you and me,dear diary,I’ve started to actually socialize a little bit.I’ve found some nice,some diplomatic,some irritating and some worth loving people around me.One thing that pisses me off about some of them is their overt probing and gossip loving attitudes.I hate gossips,so I’d rather die of boredom than sit with them and go insane.So this is life at my end,extremely boring like a history book without any pictures.

At times I want to break free of all this.But we both know,I’m not going anywhere!At least not yet 😉

I better go back to my boring routine.Hope to see you soon again.


Martial Arts

Martial Arts (Photo credit: Tom Gill.)



Diary entry 70

Dear diary,

I know that I have officially become a person who would willingly starve her writer gene to death along with some other genes too. Before writing here, I must have asked myself a thousand times today:”Do I really need to write this?Do I really need to do it today?”

And,every time my inside would answer “Yes!”

My room has officially become a “battle field”,which I hate so much.Kenyan roommate is being stubborn and Pakistani one,a bitch.They don’t talk to each other,which by the way is fine with me because cold war is better than world war 3,or so I guess.But the next part of the situation-ugh!I hate it.Pakistani roomie wants me to cut off with Kenyan,that I’m not willing to do.So,she keeps on torturing me with her paranoid statements and tears.
*Somebody,get me out of here!!!*

I had a paper today,which went excellent Alhamdulillah! (thanks for asking).5 more to go.Had almost no sleep at night because my mind wont listen to me. Just when I tried to sleep,I heard a song that my roommate was listening to(i could hear it from my bed even though she had headphones on)and it started playing in my head.Now I don’t even remember which song it was.Anyway,as if that wasn’t enough,I had a very peculiar dream too.And to top it off,light went at 5,which,by the way,came back after 13 hours of ordeal.Yeah,my university is having major energy crisis.According to some girls,our transformer was being repaired the whole day today.I dunno if it’s just a rumor or a fact.Anyway,there’s been multiple strikes in both male and female campuses and those who had paper tomorrow,their paper has been postponed.Thank God!I didn’t have a paper tomorrow.Yeah,you must know by now that I hate it when papers take too long to end.And the light goes AGAIN!!!


I better go before I say something idiotic that I would regret.