Diary entry 63


Dear diary,

Have you ever regretted anything you ever said or did?(I know you can’t you are a diary!) well, I do. When people asked me yesterday how was I feeling, I told them “great” or “much better.” I wish they could’ve asked me last night. Or even now. The pain returned with more force and is still making me uncomfortable. And this time my whole body hurts bad!

(But still I’m not gonna miss my classes, not today.)
I’m tired of sitting or lying in my room, waiting for a miracle to happen in my life. Tired of myself!
Life is losing its colours. Everything is losing its attraction.
Am I going insane?

I feel like crying, at odd times and smile when all I feel inside is void. This emptiness nagging at me. I want this to be over. I want this to end soon. Its already taken hold of my heart.
Yeah, I know I call myself a warrior and I’m not giving up on myself, not now, not ever. I know I would find a way to end this all.
Thankfully the topic in my Mass Communication class today was similar to the problems I’m having.

According to my teacher, frustration isn’t a permanent condition. She says the brisk walking and/or reading makes frustration go away. I gotta try this. I’m definitely gonna try it!
One more thing she wanted us to do is erase

  • If
  • Then
  • No
  • This thing is hard

If you come to think of it, life becomes a lot more easier if you take these four things out of it.

I’m happy now, that my teacher thinks that people who are fighters and warriors inside are best people. Besides, pain helps one to be stronger.
So, no more negative thoughts or feelings(for now 😉 )

Gotta go

Hastalavista!

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