Diary entry 19


Dear diary,

I’m really done with people who try to make me their own puppet.People I’m not the “obedient” material,so just stop it already!

I don’t want to throw “anger phlegm.”I’m asking nicely,leave me in peace,you don’t want my tantrums.

If you are unhappy inside or have some serious issue with your mind,that doesn’t give you the right to show me attitude and destroy my mood.Why don’t you leave me alone and go expect things from someone else?

Giving me hard time won’t solve your problem!

Uh,wait,I’m doing the same thing here.I’m sorry diary.Its just that,you are the only one whom I can tell anything and everything.Just bear with me.I’m trying not to reach my “Boiling Point” here.

*sigh*

I have to think things through.

Later……

Advertisements

Diary entry 18


Dear diary,

Attended a seminar today on the topic:

Stress,a silent killer.”

All the talking about stress and its management.Just heard the news that my uncle passed away today.Life has such twisted sense of humor 😦 Talking is easy but acting – not for the faint hearted people.I have an exam tomorrow,which means I can’t go home.Lets see what stress is doing-Shoulder muscles are stiff and painful,have pain in the neck muscles and a building headache,tear glands in activation,chill running through my whole body.

(WAIT,STOP!!!

Leave me alone,or I’m gonna cut your claws before they reach my heart!!!)

Deep breath in,deep breath out.deep breath in,pushing chest outward,abdominal area rising,shoulders straight,deep and slow breath out………body relaxing…….

I’m okay,I’m fine!

I better go to try to concentrate on my preparation for tomorrow’s exam.

Diary entry 17


Dear diary,

I’m glad that my management exam is over.Two more exams to go,then I’d be able to rest properly(hopefully).I have a storyline in my mind and I wanted to write it as soon as possible.Might start working on it this weekend.The winter kinda officially started with the appearance of fog this week,which means the mountains and greenery that I could see through my walk-through window is hard to observe.Talk about bad timings-just when I needed to refresh my mind by looking at nature and feeling alive-the nature became harder to observe(just my luck! *sigh*).

And time for rest is over too.Have a class in 20 minutes.

Gotta go.

Diary entry 16


Dear diary,

Life’s been busy on my side.But even with all the hustle bustle around me,the loneliness won’t leave my door.I have no idea why it claws at my heart.I lose my focus too often and I know I need to stop that.Mid term exams start come  Monday and I haven’t touched my books yet.You know whats funny – when I told my bestie she replied:you never touch them anyway 🙂 Yeah,she knows me very well.

This time I’m trying to break the habit.This time I want to actually try to study – don’t ask where that urge came from ’cause I dunno myself.I guess its the boredom or maybe the solitude,that’s getting to me.Whatever the case,I want to do something consciously this time.

Weird – this coming from me,right?

But I really sat to study this time and look what I’m doing 😀

Yeah,dear diary,I came here to tell you that I’m going to study right now,so that you can say:”Yeah,well good luck with that one!”

🙂

And I’m feeling hungry.I’d better go and cook something to eat……..

What was that???

Did you just say that I said I was going to study right now???!!!

Ahem,Ahem……
(A fleeting thought to myself:*RUN!!!*)

From the heart of a NOBODY


Hey folks!

I have no idea what I’m going to write about today but I still wanted to write something.Sometimes its just a flood of mixed feelings inside me.And its neither always easy nor prudent to make a dam to control the flow.So,here I am again 🙂

I guess,sometimes its better for both the reader and the writer to go side by side.So,lets just say its happening just about now.

I don’t know why,I just had some memories from my college life floating before me.Not the bad ones.The time that I enjoyed the most just came to me as a flashback.Some time back,I had an argument with a friend about the love of attention in people.I have to say,who doesn’t like to win huh?!I’m no different there but there’s always some uneasiness when I have to go on stage to receive the prize.

I think I’ve become a creature of shadows.Its like I want to do my job but not take the credit for it.Crazy huh?!

Oh,I’ve always hated the limelight-believe it or not,most of the time that I spent on stage singing,it was against my will.I’m the person who was called out of the line in front of the whole school and college population and given a Mic.I hated that!Still do.

So,one thing is clear here,I don’t have any kind of stage fear.When I’m competing,its like I’m one other person like everyone else there,who,if wins,might be remembered by her name,otherwise forgotten forever.Like I said before,I like to win too but the idea of being invisible is more appealing to me than being the centre of attention.My friend,disagrees of course 🙂

I hope the time never comes when you have to see me,face going pink with embarrassment,as I ascend the steps to another stage to receive another prize.You’d know then;I don’t love this attention secretly.

I’m a nobody and I prefer to stay that way!