blind


Sitting beside my window,

In Sun’s blazing hot glow,

I came upon a thought that how,

The poor blind people feel!

I closed my eyes,just to imagine,

And dark became everything

What a joy,to them,their sight would bring?

Now just wonder,

How the poor blind people feel!

A fair care is all they need,

Befriend them with a helping deed.

To heaven may your kind act lead.

So,be careful when with blinds deal.

And happy with you,the blinds would feel!

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Diary entry 15


Dear diary,

A new roommate came today.She seems as quiet as I am mostly.Seems nice though I haven’t tried to even see what she looks like and I still don’t know her name.What is with me???!!!I just don’t understand why I’m sitting with my laptop writing this post when I should probably go and talk to her or maybe make her comfortable.And here I am texting my friend and listening to my play list plus writing in here.Mum is so right when she says I’m so anti-social but I don’t know how to improve this one thing.

The Kenyan roommate I have,even her presence in the room has started to irritate me.I dunno whats happening to me.Feels like I’m going completely insane!

I better start working on this issue or I’d actually end up being insane instead of helping the disturbed!

Dear diary,my visual creativity is reaching its climax these days and it’s almost painful to try to control it but of course I can’t let it run wild.Maybe this is one of the reasons I don’t feel like myself these days.I’m trying,I’m trying very hard actually!but its difficult and draining.

I just need some time and I’m sure this condition would pass.

Time to go,

See ya 🙂

The fear and the void


I’m endlessly staring on the blank space before me.I logged in with the mind that I’d write something new.But I happen to have caught a new disease which seems to be taking control over my brain fast.Too swift for me to comprehend or even pin point its cause and take some remedy.

I’ve lost control over my own thoughts.I can’t write what I think and I keep forgetting what I want to write.My once well-organized thought process is nothing more than miscellaneous strands of broken thought threads now.

In class,where I used to be certain that once I heard and understood something,I’d be able to reproduce it whenever I was required to do so.Now,I seem lost.Every word that comes out of my teacher’s mouth,is just another group of meaningless letters and every sentence is a combination of unfathomable concepts,that leaves me gaping at it as if I suddenly encountered an alien.

And then there’s this fear inside me that’s eating me alive.The fear of not being able to remember anything.In normal students,it’s better known as pre-exam fear.But once they see the question paper,the fear starts to ease and ooze out of their systems.But I never had any concerns about my marks or grades-ever.So why is this similar fear gripping me,when I’m doing an excellent job in class?

I guess,I may never know.

It’s just like this occasional feeling of void and emptiness I get.Its not new,and it is my companion of solitude but I haven’t been able to figure out its real reason.It just eats me from inside.Its like some invisible hand clutching and squeezing my internal organs and I feel so helpless.I feel like crying,as if that would ease the situation.For a person who never gives in,it’s a horrible thing not to be able to do anything.I despise every second of it.

Its amazing,how the presence and absence of a person can lessen the effects of both these feelings.

Oh,I have to confess,there’s a little development in my story that I failed to mention in any of my recent posts.I finally found a friend-whose sweetness brings out all the good things in me;whose challenges are my drive and motivation;whose humor keeps everything alive and who likes to call our  back and forth of ridiculous statements and banter as:”playing verbal tennis with me.

Things have taken a much better turn and I feel much happier,for which I’m eternally grateful to you my friend 🙂

P.S:I dunno what I wrote-I wasn’t thinking straight tonight.

Diary entry 14


Dear diary,

I slept at 8 in the morning,dunno what was I thinking-but I had the day off so I could afford to stay in bed.At 12 pm,I get a call from an unknown number who claims that I sent him a text message that’s why he called to ask who I was.

I have a dual SIM mobile and I haven’t recharged one of my SIM from past whole month approximately, due to the Eid incident(https://neyoxhan.wordpress.com/wp-admin/post.php?post=369&action=edit).He was calling on that very SIM, which made it more clear that he was a liar.Plus the fact that I asleep.How can I be asleep and be sending a text message at the same time from a SIM which doesn’t even have a credit in it?

I’d have to give him one point for his confidence-but when you are doing something wrong,you tend to give away one or two points that could prove bad for you.Only because you can pretend to be strong and confident doesn’t mean that your really feel that inside.

So where did he go wrong?

Well, he was trying to ask me again and again which, I told him sternly, wasn’t any of his concern. The balloon of confidence deflated and he said:”You texted me, it’s not like, I’m purposefully dialing a random number!”

Chicken-that’s exactly what you are doing (hey I didn’t say chicken out loud).

Anyway, I hope he’s not calling any time soon.

Hmmm,my still warm bed is calling me again (wake up you sleepy head-got lotsa work to do!)

Ah, this is one wretched battle I may never win!

More later dear diary,right now I gotta find the will power strong enough to keep me out of my bed.

Hasta la vista 😉