Diary entry 1

dear diary,

I hate typing really!But I’m doing it ’cause I love writing.You never know when you do wonders with words.What I’d give to write just 1 such piece

Yeah,yeah,yeah . . . .I know the feeling!

And I may one day be able to do it if dear WAPDA would allow our electricity to stay for sometime.

And frankly,I get such terrific ideas when I’m busy in doing my chores.And when I finally get free to write them in here,my mind goes practically blank like a sheet of paper.Surprising for me ’cause my mind never even goes blank in exams and yet I dunno what happens to me while trying futilely to do some creative writing.Maybe I have to-what you call it-oh yeah”LOOSEN UP A BIT!”
maybe I should try it right now-whatya think?

gotta go,

see ya soon if  . . . ya know what I mean!


I’d be the picture I paint myself.

I stopped talking a long time ago.Surprisingly people so try to change you for what you actually are.They won’t ever stop at anything.They want to see you the way they like to picture you.For instance,my mother wants to see me in pretty clothes,a great hair-do and makeover and stuff that all girls dream of all the time and put a lot of efforts into doing.Why is it so-I sometimes asked her and you know what she told me every time-that I want my children to look super all the time.I like to see you dress up.

When all I see is the wish that someday some guy would maybe love the looks of me and the great manners that she has taught me and ask for my hand in marriage and she’d marry me off with him(hah!that would remove some burden off her shoulders!).But would she stop for a second and ask me what I want?No!because I don’t think straight,do I?

So,this plan entirely goes down the drain because I’m not looking forward to marrying someone who doesn’t love me for me.I don’t want to give myself to someone who doesn’t knows the real me and claims to love the fake me-I WON’T!

And then there’s other people that come to know about my excellent mind-or so they say it.You are creative or at least try to be and people start thinking you can do anything-literally ANYTHING!!!

I couldn’t tell them that I wasn’t almighty but there was an almighty-so you can go to Him and ask for all the wonders you expect me to do for you!

In short,people-including my family,won’t give me a break so I decided that I didn’t want to take it anymore.

I had read somewhere:Silence is your best weapon!

And I don’t speak anymore.I don’t argue like I used to,no moot discussions any more.And let me tell you,I’m so happy since then.People did try to make me talk but I wouldn’t budge,Didn’t have it in me anymore.And then there came a time when I even forgot how my voice sounded.

Those who remember my voice say it was sweet as honey and melodious.But if embracing the silence means I get to shape myself as I wanted to be,’m glad I did what I did!

Finally I can paint my own image of what I want myself to look like.Finally I can fill my picture with the colours of my OWN choice!


how can I be like them?

I silently cried and found myself in a reassuring embrace.

I looked into your eyes and saw concern.

You didn’t ask what bothered me,

I was never the one to tell.

For sometimes its beyond words

if you are living in an earthly hell.

You stayed with me till I calmed down.

Eyes questioning and a silent tongue.

I need to know what made you cry,

who?how and why?

A silent tear escaped again,

Won’t say a word ’till,control,I gain.

I’m nestling a broken heart.

I can’t help but think,

how could I ever be like them?

those who die in Allah’s path.

Who sacrifice their lives everyday.

When my days are filled with joys,

They suffer the pain,lose their families;

Ask for help and are rejected.

How can I ever be compared with them?

When I sleep sound at night

and they live in fear of dying every moment.

When i feel down,someone’s there to cheer me up.

while their children die-burnt and butchered,

the least I can do is pray.

Oh my Muslim brothers and sisters,

I feel your pain like my own.

I wish I could do more for you-

wish I could end this all!

P.S:Couldn’t sleep all night due to flashbacks of images of Muslims of Burma and due to Surah Burooj playing again and again in my mind.May the souls of the dead rest in peace and may the unjust have the retribution of their deeds soon.Allah,you are our only hope!

history repeats itself. . . . .

While reciting surah Al-Burooj today,my mind analyzing its translation,i tried to picture it and what came into my mind was the slaughter of burmese Muslims.isn’t that whats happening to them?and why-only because they they believe in Allah???!!!
وَالسَّمَاء ذَاتِ الْبُرُوجِ
By the heaven, holding mansions of the stars,
وَالْيَوْمِ الْمَوْعُودِ
And by the Promised Day.
وَشَاهِدٍ وَمَشْهُودٍ
By one that witnesses, and the subject of the witness
قُتِلَ أَصْحَابُ الْأُخْدُودِ
(Self-)destroyed were the owners of the ditch
النَّارِ ذَاتِ الْوَقُودِ
Of the fuel-fed fire,
إِذْ هُمْ عَلَيْهَا قُعُودٌ
When they sat by it,
وَهُمْ عَلَى مَا يَفْعَلُونَ بِالْمُؤْمِنِينَ شُهُودٌ
And were themselves the witnesses of what they did to the believers.
وَمَا نَقَمُوا مِنْهُمْ إِلَّا أَن يُؤْمِنُوا بِاللَّهِ الْعَزِيزِ الْحَمِيدِ
And they ill-treated them for no other reason than that they believed in Allah, Exalted in Power, Worthy of all Praise
الَّذِي لَهُ مُلْكُ السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالْأَرْضِ وَاللَّهُ عَلَى كُلِّ شَيْءٍ شَهِيدٌ
Him to Whom belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth! And Allah is Witness to all things.


How we see history repeat itself today-to me its horrible to see those pictures and not being able to anything.And the thought that in their place it could’ve been me and my family haunts me.But I’m hopeful that the next part of this surah comes true too.That not only it comes true but soon-In Sha Allah!
إِنَّ الَّذِينَ فَتَنُوا الْمُؤْمِنِينَ وَالْمُؤْمِنَاتِ ثُمَّ لَمْ يَتُوبُوا فَلَهُمْ عَذَابُ جَهَنَّمَ وَلَهُمْ عَذَابُ الْحَرِيقِ

Those who persecute (or draw into temptation) the Believers, men and women, and do not turn in repentance, will have the Penalty of Hell: They will have the Penalty of the Burning Fire.

إِنَّ الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ لَهُمْ جَنَّاتٌ تَجْرِي مِن تَحْتِهَا الْأَنْهَارُ ذَلِكَ الْفَوْزُ الْكَبِيرُ

Surely (as for) those who believe and do good, they shall have gardens beneath which rivers flow, that is the great achievement.

إِنَّ بَطْشَ رَبِّكَ لَشَدِيدٌ

Truly strong is the Grip (and Power) of thy Lord.


Make this viral,save Muslims from slaughter!


your one click can save Muslims from being slaughtered in Burma.Sign this petition yourself and make it viral so that other could sign it too.If not for the sake of religion,let it be for the sake of Humanity!


I can feel your silent breath beside me;

the caressing hand through my hair.

I can smell your fragrance

and intensity of your concern.

Your presence near me seems to be so real

that I lift my hand,

to take yours into mine-

to feel its warmth upon my skin.

But my hand closes

on nothing but thin air

and unintentionally,but,I smile.

For such a solid memory of you-

I’ve kept in my head.

That when I’m alone,

I feel you sitting beside me-

worried but smiling.

I can see me arguing

and you-staring intently;

trying to make sense;

of my childish words.

                                                                                                                                                                                    originally written on:April,4,2010.

Something from my old diary

peeping through the curtains of my eyelids,

an innocent helpless tear it is-

ready to roll down my cheek.

but somehow it knows ,

that I’m not gonna let go,

’cause as long as it stays in my eyes,

it has its worth,

the moment it got out,

the glory would be lost.

no one would bother

to give it importance.

so ain’t it better,

to keep it in my eyes

and never let the shimmer

of life to die?